MARIA

I left my country when I was 17 years old. I was scared, and afraid to leave my parents and face the uncertainty of not knowing how to act, how to clearly communicate or how to behave in a new culture. However, once I got to my new home, I realized I was not alone and even though we are not many, there are other people who go through the same experiences as I did. 

What they do not tell you once you make the decision of leaving, is that not every bad experience in your journey will be intentional. They tell you about what it means to be part of a “minority”, or they warn you about something called “discrimination,” which is why you think you are prepared for whatever may come. It is not until you hear someone tell you: “you are so much talkative on your language than in English”, that you realize that you are ashamed of your identity and are afraid of the moment when people realize you are not from “here.” It only takes a stare or a short stutter from the person you just talked to, to begin feeling embarrassed of your appearance or your accent.  

I did not need a traumatic experience to feel the way I did when I left my home. It took me time to understand that being different will always cause a reaction on people. It could be them asking you where you are from, it could be them speaking slower and louder, it could be them staring or being uncomfortable with your accent, or it could even be them making the interaction shorter. None of those reactions could have been interpreted as aggressive or full of rejection. Those are common reactions, and most of the times, unintended.  However, interactions like those are the main reason why I lacked confidence in myself and gave up the idea of someday belonging to a new “home.” 

Six years later, I can say that I have grown both professionally and academically in ways I could have never imagined. Having doubts on my identity made me stronger after I decided I will always be proud of who I am, because it means that I am brave, I am adaptable, I speak more than one language, I embrace other cultures, I easily empathize with other people, and I accept the idea that we are all different but worth the same respect.  

I am not afraid anymore because I have met so many people that understand. I have met people that achieved the unimaginable by not accepting those barriers others try to impose in front of them. These people and I, have realized that sometimes it is not others who try to take you down or limit your potential, sometimes, it is you who accepts labels, stereotypes and believes them as absolute truth.  

In the end, you decide how the environment around you affects you, and you decide how to fight for what you want.